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When School Creates Anxiety…


July 13, 2015 0 comments Clean Parenting

Obviously, it concerned me when child hid behind the drapes and declared “I am never going back to school.” It started with a little anxiety- a whine here and there- not wanting to go. Until one day it was all out screaming and clawing when I tried to leave.

We tried this public preschool because my little had qualified for speech therapy. The professionals were focused on helping her communicate, and this was the place where they felt they could help her the most. Ironically, soon after, she started communicating loud and clear that she didn’t like this school. At that point the professionals told me to ignore her anxieties and force her to go.

My thought was, “So, we teach her to communicate…but then ignore what she is communicating?”

What happened to my happy little girl? She wasn’t able to tell me exactly why she wouldn’t go at the time. Since then, in the quietest of moments, she has told more than a few things she didn’t like about that school.

The thing is, I am so glad I listened to her instead of the professionals. It isn’t that professionals don’t know their stuff- they do! But, I believe we should listen to what their spirit is screaming over a statistic or guideline or protocol.

I listened to what her heart was telling me through her actions. I followed my instincts.

When the twins announce that someone’s nail polish is “turquoise” I am impressed they know so many colors. But, it is so much more impressive that when they do something wrong, they feel they can tell me the truth. It is stunning when they show me their true hearts and reveal their innermost fears.

This morning my precious little girl woke and said “Mommy, you are just so sweet to me” and I said, “you are sweet to me as well baby.” More important than knowing the alphabet or saying the right thing or doing well in school: where is your heart, little one? Do you know how loved you are?

This excerpt is from magicalchildhood.com which I enjoyed, because I didn’t necessarily acknowledge any of this until I had kids of my own. But, what could be more important than what we hold in our heart of hearts?

“What a 4 year old should know:

  1. She should know that she is loved wholly and unconditionally, all of the time.
  2. He should know that he is safe and he should know how to keep himself safe in public, with others, and in varied situations. He should know that he can trust his instincts about people and that he never has to do something that doesn’t feel right, no matter who is asking. He should know his personal rights and that his family will back them up.
  3. She should know how to laugh, act silly, be goofy and use her imagination. She should know that it is always okay to paint the sky orange and give cats 6 legs.
  4. He should know his own interests and be encouraged to follow them. If he could care less about learning his numbers, his parents should realize he’ll learn them accidentally soon enough and let him immerse himself instead in rocket ships, drawing, dinosaurs or playing in the mud.
  5. She should know that the world is magical and that so is she. She should know that she’s wonderful, brilliant, creative, compassionate and marvelous. She should know that it’s just as worthy to spend the day outside making daisy chains, mud pies and fairy houses as it is to practice phonics. Scratch that– way more worthy.  “

 

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